Friday, June 22, 2012

Enjoying Holland

So check it, I had planned on spending this summer blogging every other day or so and getting all of our little family's thoughts and memories on paper (would screen be a better word?).  As we can all mutually decide that didn't happen.  Why?  Summer school.  Seriously who takes summer school?  And why would anyone torture themselves to take chemistry in summer school?  Oh yeah, me.  If chemistry wasn't all about the matter of the earth and the elements involved (or something like that), I would say it never should have been invented.  Never.  But alas, it is required for my major and I must oblige.  So instead of every other day, you get me just about every other month.  I think you will be okay.

When Erik's grandparent's were in town a few weeks ago his grandma asked me about the whole Holland-thing.  What does it mean, and why do you have it? Well Lois, here is your answer:

When Jude was born I had a hard time adjusting.  Like a sooooooper hard time.  I read a short story titled "Welcome to Holland" that I first posted on the blog here.  Even though I didn't know it at the time, the minute I read that story my heart began healing.  And boy did it need some healing.  Healing from the grief I felt over the child I thought I lost.  Healing from the prayers I so earnestly prayed that I would wake up and it would all be a dream.  I needed healing because I knew I was going to love this child and by-golly I needed to love him right.  Healing because I was so ashamed that I ever wanted the Lord to take him back and send him to someone more worthy.  And ever since then I have lived in my own personal Holland.  So much so, that the sight of blooming tulips bring tears to my eyes (doesn't happen too often, do you know how hard it is to keep tulips alive in AZ? I have had many failed attempts).  My own Holland that so far consists of 3 pairs of wooden shoes, a hand towel with a windmill on it, and a garden full of dead tulip buds.  The tulip buds are still a work in progress.

There are many days when I want to shut my door in Holland's face and tell it to get the heck out of here.  But if it weren't for those days, then I wouldn't enjoy the many other beauties that come with Holland.  Like finally being able to walk with the walker:

Or riding in the cart at the grocery store:

Erik and I were talking tonight about tattoos.  What and where we would get them.  I would get a giant windmill on my back.  Huge.  So everyone knew how insanely in love I am with My Holland.  And guess who introduced me to the lovely place?  Of course you are right, my one and only Jude Man.  He takes me by the hand and the heart everyday and helps me see the beauty.  The beauty of Holland.  So here I am in life, and expressed here on this blog, Enjoying Holland.