counting down the hours

I finally have the date set for my ultra sound to find it if Baby Payne is going to be a boy or a girl, and it's this Thursday! That's right, as in less than 2 days away!  Erik and I can hardly wait, we have been talking about this for so long it feels like.  I say we're going to find out if its a boy or a girl, while Erik says we're going to find out that its officially a boy.  He is so convinced its a boy, I'm afraid he will tell the Dr to send it back if it comes out a girl.  He has already bought so many boy clothes, we won't even need to have a baby shower.  As much as he talks about how badly he wants it to be a boy I know she will have him wrapped around her little finger if its a girl.  She will be daddy's little princess.

I am 18 weeks tomorrow and definitely feeling it.  Even though I sleep pretty okay through the night, Erik says I'm all over the place all the time.  I stopped wetting the bed (thank goodness), but sometimes I barely make it to the bathroom in time.  My sleeping pill still knocks me out so much I barely wake up for my alarm, let alone my body telling me to wake up to go pee at 2 a.m.  Most of my clothes don't fit anymore, so I rotate between the same 5 shirts that actually do fit.  My stomach has begun to poke out enough that you might be able to tell I'm pregnant, instead of just a little chunky (pictures coming soon!).  My favorite line this week was when a co-worker found out I was pregnant (I don't know what rock he's been under the past 4.5 months), and he told me "I didn't know you were pregnant, I just thought you were gaining weight and didn't want to say anything".  Thanks Simon.

As uncomfortable as I usually am, being pregnant is one of the best experiences I have ever been fortunate enough to go through.   I know I'm not as sick as some women get (although without my medicine, I feel like I'm at death's front door), but it is such a rewarding feeling knowing that someday this baby is going to be part of  this world, and I am going to be everything it needs.  Scary, but rewarding.  I feel a bit strange in my thinking sometimes, like I am almost not doing enough.  My doctor laughed at me a little bit at my last appointment when I had only gained back 2 of the 3 pounds I had lost. She said most girls are worried about how they can stay skinny during pregnancy, and all I was worried about was not gaining enough weight.  I was so worried that my baby was going to be deprived of all of the nutrients it needed.  (My doctor is amazing, she definitely reassures me of all of my random, paranoid doubts).

I felt it move a little bit about a week or so ago and it is so cool! What they say is true, it really does feel like you have the butterflies, or just gas.  But it's so much more amazing than gas! And I can tell the difference between the two.  The other day I had Erik push on my stomach, and I felt it move around a little bit. It was so cool for me, but Erik was still bummed he can't feel it move yet.

Well I know I have been rambling a lot in this post, but it is late so I blame it on the drowsiness. All I can say is how extremely blessed I feel in life right now, and how I am so grateful that Erik and I are sealed together forever, along with all of our children to come!