Jammies Day

(Jude in his jammies, sorry for the iphone pic)

Today I had a plan.  I had a to-do list of everything I needed/wanted to get done.  It consisted of:

1) doing the many loads of laundry I have neglected over the past week

2) doing the dishes

3) sweeping, mopping, vacuuming

4) cleaning the bathroom (including the shower)

5) putting all of the straggling Christmas decorations away that didn't seem to make it into the box the first time

6) and a lot more

I had planned on waking up early, showering, and having a good breakfast ready for Erik when he got home from work at around 10 am.  Instead, I was woken up by Erik at noon asking if I wanted some lunch, or if I wanted to keep sleeping.  I was extremely confused.  I remember waking up every few hours to change Jude Man, feed him and rock him back to sleep. But I don't remember the time going by so fast.  I have only been getting about 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night for the past few nights and I knew I was exhausted, but I didn't think it was that bad.

Fast forward....when I got out of bed at 3:30 to finally take a shower and actually get dressed I was extremely disappointed about how my day went.  I didn't get anything on my to-do list done.  I started thinking back over my day, trying to justify how it wasn't a complete waste.

1) Jude Man and I watched Music and Lyrics intermittently from 1:30 am to 7 am. It takes him a little bit longer than normal to eat and get completely full. I'm up about every hour and a half from the end of one feeding to the beginning of the next trying to feed him, and it takes him at least an hour to eat. He is still trying to master the "suck, swallow, breath" part of eating, and right now we are still on "suck swallow breath, suck swallow choke". With his low muscle tone he gets tired more easily so I have to stop a few times throughout feeding him and let him take a break. I put a movie on to help keep me awake in the middle of the night. Between Jude's soft cooing, and the warmth of his body as he snuggles next to me in his jammies, its extremely hard to stay alert. I love watching movies with Jude. He doesn't roll his eyes and laugh at the cheesy parts of chick flicks like daddy does. He'll watch just about anything that I want to watch.

2) I was able to snuggle with him all day long.  And I do mean aaaall daaaay looong, literally.  It is so hard for me to put him down because all I really want to do is hold him and kiss him all over.  He and I were having a staring contest today during the 30 minutes he was actually awake.  He even gave me a little smile, and it was nice because it wasn't a "you just changed my diaper and I just pooped again" smile, or a "I am farting and there is nothing you can do to stop me" smile.  It was an "I like the way you sing mommy" smile.

3) Erik brought me ice cream in bed and we ate it straight out of the carton, still in our jammies.  I think that is enough said.

4) Jude Man finally mastered holding a pacifier in his mouth on his own.  I was so proud of him, no more holding it in his mouth while he sleeps in the middle of the night.  I know this is just one step closer to getting his sucking skills down, way to go Jude Man!

5) We made it to the in-laws house for dinner by 5, and had a great time.  They held Jude and loved on him all night long.

6) I read a lot from THIS BLOG and my heart strings have been pulled.  I heard about this blog about 2 weeks after Jude was born and I have not been able to stop reading it.  The mother of this beautiful little girl has been so inspiring and it has been so great to read the words of another mother that is raising a special one.  I wish that when my words are spilled on to the page that they would make as great a difference as hers do.  I have never been the writer in the family and sometimes (most of the time) I have a hard time expressing how I'm feeling.  But I read her blog and can not help but be moved.

So today the dishes didn't get done, and I'm pretty sure we have no clean towels in the house.  There are dirty bottles everywhere and a bag filled entirely of Jude's diapers sitting by the front door waiting to be thrown away. Instead I loved and held and snuggled with the two most important people in my life.  I tried to make Jude feel important.  I tried to tell him how much he will change other people's lives, and how much he has already changed mine.  I told him how much I loved him.  I tried to tell him how I felt inspired and I wish I could take what I felt and help inspire other people. 

And as I held him in my arms and danced around my bedroom while singing "Hey Jude", he gave me a smile that not only said "I like the way you sing mommy", but "I love you, and always will".

Today was a good day.